A bit of an off the cuff journal, but I just want to write down my thoughts.

For a while now, I've wanted to focus on some more personal art for the sake of character design.

And while I'm happy with the results, I think that "burnout" of only doing said original works is kicking in.

While I love my most recent pieces, and especially the Dojima Oni Twins, the process of designing, research, and writing character bios can be a bit much if I do it back to back.

Plus, I have a really rotten habit of not drawing said new character designs again after creation.

I've been trying to be better about that, but then I get a new character idea and then another one, and it becomes a vicious cycle.

So, maybe I'll take a break from that for a little while.

I was looking back on my old fan arts, and I had forgotten just how much Pokémon art I've drawn in the past.

I might have fallen out of love with the series due to the "one step forward, two steps back" mentality" with new gimmicks every generation.

Plus, the games themselves, being clearly extremely rushed and buggy messes that can't fail because "it's Pokémon".

But that doesn't mean I still don't have strong attachments to my favorites, and new generational faves.

Been having a real itch to draw my Mewtwo lady; Dolores De Leon again; her design is great in my opinion and I wouldn't mind drawing a simpler, yet still sexy character.

As well as maybe draw some other Nintendo fan art in general, just so I also don't burnout on only doing Sonic fan art.

I guess I shouldn't have gotten so scared of the "Nintendo Ninjas" coming after me, since I'm a very small artist that makes little to no money off commissions.

Nor do I have a Patreon, Ko-Fi, or whatever is the newest and hottest freelancer app for artists.

I'm probably in the clear and don't have to worry about that.

So yeah, a random journal, but I just wanted to jot this down for myself and the very lurkers I have that actually read my journals.

Hope everything is doing well, and has some fun spooky plans for Halloween.

Thanks to a friend of mine, I was able to get a code in order to join BlueSky.

It's the new "Jumpship Site" at the moment, since Twitter is only going from bad to worse; but what else is new for that hellsite.

So, I'm on that site if anyone is interested, hopefully it'll last longer then Pillowfort did.

https://bsky.app/profile/thegrumpiestpanda.bsky.social

I don't expect follows, but it's another option for art archival at the very least I suppose.

Also, my birthday is coming up on the 17th.

I was given an early birthday present of a new phone from my folks.

Which was greatly appreciated, as my old phone had a dead zone in the middle of the screen.

I'm going to be 30 and the fact I'm now that old is scary to me.

Going to see if I can gather some money and get me Super Mario Bros. Wonder, looks like it'll be a good time, even if I'll have to wait a few days to actually play it.

Well any, that is all, hope everyone is having a good night.

Mostly just updating this before the heavy packing starts, we have a new place to move into that is in the same neighborhood and only about 5 minutes away by drive.

The new place is rather large, probably the largest place we have had.

Not to mention, we have sealed a one-year lease, so thankfully, we'll be safe for a while.

I just hope we can keep this place, it's a bit more expensive than the current place (about 400 bucks more) but I trust my folks as they hammered out the numbers, and it seems like we'll be able to handle it.

Please let this is the last move, so sick of moving all the time and being scared to unpack my things just in case we have to move again.

Still hope my brother is going to get himself a job, I'd stress a lot less about money if a 4th paycheck was coming into this family unit.

Anyway, that's all for now.

I'll update again when everything is all set up in the new place.

Boy, the last title of my last journal is so painfully ironic that it makes me want to vomit...

Well, it's been a while since I've written a journal here.

I know no one is going to read this, but I just have to write out my thoughts.

So, as you read, I'm having to move again.

After all of that time looking for a new place after getting driven out of our old place, we're once again scrambling...

What I have been told is that this past June we were supposed to get another lease for the home.

But, turns out that the fucking old fossil that own this home, just straight up decides that paying for the up keep of the house is too expensive and wants to sell it.

And since we are obviously too poor to even dream about owning a home (let alone maintaining it) we have to be gone by the end of July.

The wonderful anxiety inducing "For Sale" sign in the front was a nice unhealthy blow to my already strained mental state.

The sad thing is I kind of already figured this wasn't going to last, over heard my parent murmuring about "getting a new place" too many times in the past two weeks.

Plus, the rude awakening of people snooping around and taking pictures of my room, only for the lady in charge to say "This house is back on the market, didn't your parents tell you?"

I'm just so tired of all of this...

I want is just some type of security in my life, and ever after all I did to keep rent getting paid on time, my efforts are just snatched away from me and there is nothing I could have done about it.

The only thing I suppose I can do now is hope my parents find a new place to move into within the next 4 weeks, because I REALLY don't want to have to live in an extended living hotel room again.

It might sound cute until you realize you are one rung above Homelessness.

I have at least one picture in the works, a personal piece (probably will get passed over but whatever, I'm used to it by now) and then I'll probably have to start putting stuff away.

But I guess there is one small silver lining.

With how little stuff I actually have/ unpacked, I supposed hauling it to the back of a U-Haul truck again won't be such a pain in the ass!

...God, I'm grasping at straws at this point...

I'll keep folks updated, let's hope this next place won't be as expensive and will be "the last move" at least for a good long while.

Here is what will hopefully be the last of the "update journals".

Things are going a bit more smoothly now.

Work is... well, work, but whatever, it's a job at a supermarket, so it was never going to be "amazing".

But, it pays the bills, and that's what matters at the end of the day.

We finally moved all of our stuff out of storage, plus the extra stuff that was donated to us

There are still a few things to sort out, but, we'll figure out what to keep and what to give away.

I do have all of my art supplies back, finally.

Not sure when I'm going to start drawing again, as space is becoming an issue.

Plus, finding comfortable places to store said art supplies inside my room to keep clutter to a minimum.

But, I'll figure that out hopefully soon, I'll probably just need to invest in those space makers.

Perhaps finding 2 big ones on wheels that I can slide underneath my bed.

I wish I didn't manage to get sick again, but I guess it was unavoidable with the type of job I have.

I'm just at least happy I don't have to haul boxes on my days off anymore.

So, just wanted to post that here for those that are curious.

Hopefully by the end of the month, I can start drawing again and posting somewhat frequently.

Might not be as frequently as I used to, but, I hope to try to post something maybe once a month, perhaps.

We'll see how this plays out.

Now that things have calmed down a little bit, here is what has been going on.

I'm doing well, much better in fact, which is a good change to feel for once.

Our new place is nice, it's old, but is good.

There is a lot of space, heating, electricity, and 3 bathrooms.

While we have moved in some stuff into the new house, not everything is here yet.

Most of our things are still in storage, and we'll have to sort some stuff out in one long haul, hopefully something soon.

Scheduling that will be a pain since everyone is working in my household (except for that wretch Randy...) so we'll have to figure out how that's going to happen.

It's a pain that I don't have all of my art supplies with me as I desperately want to get back to drawing, but it seems like I'll have to wait just a little while longer for that luxury.

Thankfully, I pack all of that stuff first, so it's safe, and I don't have to rebuy any of that.

But for the time being, I'm happy with what I have here now.

I have my compute set up and everything is working fine, thankfully.

I still will have to get myself a Smart TV for my room, but things are coming together slowly but surely.

Also landed a job part-time, it's grocery work, but it pays well enough and the work and crew are pleasant enough.

I won't be active near the end of the week do to my hours, but having Monday through Thursday off isn't a bad trade-off.

So that's basically it.

I'm quite shocked but happy to see that people are still here and that I got a few new followers.

I guess you don't have to be posting something every day to get eyes on you.

But, that's all.

Hope you all are having a good Holiday season.

I just wanted to write this journal while I still have the time to do so.

After a bunch of looking it seems like my parents have located a new house for us to live in.

We're going to be moving out of the temporary place this Tuesday.

Unfortunately, it seems like things didn't go way we planned as we were going to use the extra month here just to make sure we could get all of our stuff moved into the new place, while still having a relatively comfortable place to lodge in.

But, rotten luck is rotten luck.

We're still going to have to find a way to get all of our extra stuff into the new place, hopefully our friend April can help with that as well.

I can tell this following week isn't going to be pleasant, but while I am anxious at the same time; I am happy that we are finally moving out of this temporary apartment complex.

Things will be a lot less tense when everyone has their own room to be in, and have their own sense of privacy.

Even if it's going to take maybe an extra week or two to make sure everything is properly set up, it's better then what we have now.

I just pray that the new place isn't going to have the same issues like the old house they lived in did.

Anyway that's all I really wanted to say.

I apologize to my friends on Discord who've been trying to contact me for the past month.

If I could have explained everything to every single one of you I would have.

But time just wasn't on my side.

Hopefully I'll get to talk to you all again before the end of the year, fingers crossed.

For anyone who is reading this, I hope you're having a much better holiday season than I am right now.

Or at least experiencing something a little less stressful.

So a while back, I was venting about how awful things were where I was living and eventually my family was going to have to move by the 25th of November.

Well, it looks like it's happening sooner than I thought.

A family friend, April, is gathering some people to help us put some of the larger things into storage tomorrow afternoon.

She also helped us pay up front for a temp 2-bedroom apartment.

We don't have enough to move into a steady household, so everyone is going to have to work in order to make this work out.

She promised we won't go homeless, so I suppose that is one less thing to stress over.

Makes me wonder if my deadbeat brother is going to do something, because he hasn't been doing much for the past 5 years now...

Because I don't want to be stuck in an in between place for several months, and if he isn't going to contribute, then he needs to figure something else out, so we can find a place for 4 people and not 5.

Rent is already sky fucking high anyway thanks to COVID and greed landlords...

So with that being said, things are going to fucking suck for me for a little while.

Do not expect art, I imagine all of my art supplies are going to go into storage and hopefully not get damaged.

Also, I probably won't be online as often.

My computer table is supposed to be going tomorrow as well, and with a labtop with a damaged display, it's going to be hard to use anything online in general.

At least I have my phone, but it's very weak, so I'll have to use it sparingly.

...I'm starting to think that "happiness" is something I'm never going to truly fine in life...

Especially when every 5 to 7 years, something comes and fucks what little happiness I find up.

That's all for now, I'm tired, I'm stress, and the future is clouded.

But... What else is new...

The following if a Vent Journal.

If you aren't interested in bad vibes, I understand, just need to blow off some steam.

Well, it is October, boy, Summer just flew by, didn't it?

So, as you can see by the title, life has been kicking me in the dick as of late.

But of course, when doesn't life kick me when I'm down.

Let's start with the first bit and work my way to where I'm at now.

Where I live sucks.

It's an old building built in the 70s, and it is literally crumbing apart.

In Washington during winter, it rains, a lot, and it usually starts in later September and doesn't stop until Late April/Early May.

Water erosion happens to most building, and well, it happened to our roof and made the ceiling crash down on two different occasions.

One in the living room and another in the hallway.

Landlord didn't fix the first hole, buy city consul help fix the one in the hallway.

And that is just two issues, won't talk about all the other broken things in the house that never got fixed.

Now, the water main is clogged, which is making it very hard to flush the toilets and take a shower.

The plumbers we called wanted 900 bucks for a fix, and to call the landlord to give them the okay to do it.

And since the landlord wants us gone by November 25th, it's not like they are going to help us.

Oh, did I for get to mention we are getting evicted?

Not the first time the landlord tried, but I guess this time is stuck.

Now, thankfully, it seems that we aren't going to be homeless, but it doesn't seem like my mother found a new place yet.

And that'll be rough, since thanks to the pandemic and the failure of late state capitalism, every new place is charging like $3,000 for rent.

Not to mention, I'm sure there will be some "family meeting" coming soon that I hate hearing about.

It'll probably target to my brother, since he has been basically freeloading off of us and refused to pay rent for a while now.

That's a screaming match I'm not looking forward too.

And I spent the last of my COVID money on a pack of batteries, so I'm pretty broke.

I've been trying not to give into despair, and trying not to disassociate too hard.

But man, it's getting harder and harder every day to see that "light at the end of the tunnel.

And I don't know if I'm down with the idea of heading by to college via online classes with working part-time.

My parents (with the help of their close friend April) really want me and my nephew to go into this art program.

April would be paying the tuition, which is nice not having to go into debt, but I can't help but feel like the stress of this would make me drop out if I can't handle it.

I know it's opportunity literally knocking on my door, but who know if that same door won't slam in my face.

I could ramble on more, but that's just what I've been dealing with for the past few months.

Want to say that I'm happy, but it seems I have to try hard to stay in a more mellow mood these days.

Not expecting much on my birthday, kinda forgot it's only two weeks away on the 17th.

I'd ask for some fan art but, beggars never get anything, so I guess I'll just not bother.

Going to try and finish the art I own to people, and maybe push out one last piece in November if packing doesn't take over.

Anyway, that's all, thanks for reading if you got this far.

The future is clouded, I just hope it'll all work out and add up to something worthwhile.

So, I have sadly been away for a week roughly, maybe a little more, and it was out of my control.

About 2 weeks ago, a green line appeared across the very top of my laptop.

I looked into it to see if I could fix it myself, but to no avail.

I decided to ignore it, as I was able to make the line "go away" on its own with a restart.

Then it got worse when my displayed turned green and pink, and I couldn't fix it anymore after a reset.

I waited a week until I was able to take it to Geek Squad.

Thankfully, they weren't money hungry and referred me to a smaller computer store not too far from them.

Geek Squad told me it was most likely a hardware issue, and that they didn't want to waste my time and money with a laptop they couldn't do anything too.

The other store actually looked at my computer and more or less told me it was hardware failure.

It's 50/50 on if it's the graphics card shitting out, or the motherboard.

They said it'd probably be easier to replace my laptop than to get it fixed, and sadly, the only place that fixes extreme hardware issues is located in Seattle itself.

However, I did manage to find a workaround for the time being.

When my laptop is hooked into another monitor, the display on the monitor was correct.

So, what he told me to do, was just use my laptop as a power source, and just hook everything to the monitor.

It's not a complete fix, my laptop is still damaged, but I'm hoping that this will work out long enough to squeeze out a little more life from my laptop.

So. for right now, I'm able to use my computer again in this odd new way.

Still not used to all of this new screen real estate with a 27-inch monitor, but I'll probably adjust in a few days.

Finally, after a week of dread, some good luck came my way.

Let's hope I can ride this wave for a while, because I didn't like feeling that down...